Thomas Hammerman, LMFT

Thomas Hammerman, LMFT

Frequently Asked Questions for marriage therapy and couples counseling

How long does marriage counseling and or couples therapy take?

There is no particular length of therapy. Most of my clients see definite improvement in their relationships by six sessions.

How long are marriage counseling and couples therapy sessions?

Sessions are usually around 50 minutes. People with scheduling difficulties or who travel long distances can schedule longer sessions, if available.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a clinically-validated couples therapy that reduces conflict and helps couples feel supported by each other.

How does it work?

EFT discovers the patterns that get in the way of people communicating and working together. It then uncovers the core issues that create conflict and disconnection.

What is the goal of couples counseling?

The goal of the therapy is to lessen fights, conflict, and discord. I work with you to build a relationship that feels safe, secure, and loving.

What will my relationship look like after counseling?

By the end of therapy, you should feel safe, close, and supported by your spouse or partner. Your relationship will be a source of comfort and support. When there is conflict it will only last a short time, and fights will occur much less frequently.

How do I know if you are the right therapist for me?

I work very closely with my clients and respond to feedback. I want you to be satisfied with the work and the progress you are making. I have extensive training and experience in working with couples. I even teach other therapists on how to help couples.

How do I know if I need marriage counseling or couples therapy?

Sometimes relationships are in a crisis. Other times it can help if you are fighting frequently over small things, or if you are having communication problems. Any time that your relationship doesn’t feel nurturing, supportive or satisfying is a great time to seek counseling.

We’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t work.

Not all couples therapies or therapists are created equal. Even though therapy hasn’t worked for you in the past doesn’t mean that I can’t help you. EFT is a very effective therapy with a research-based roadmap to helping you reconnect.

Will you take sides or will I be blamed?

As your couples therapist, it is important that I don’t take sides. You and your partner should each feel safe and supported working with me.

I want to come to couples therapy but my partner would never agree. Does my spouse or partner need to attend?

In an ideal world, in order for couples therapy to work, both people should attend every session. Nevertheless, individual therapy can be very helpful in building and strengthening relationships. Give me a call and we can strategize about the best therapy for your needs.

Why is therapy so expensive?

Yes, therapy can be expensive but I make sure that it’s worth it. After all, it’s more cost effective to go to a specialist that charges more but gets results than someone cheaper and less trained. Your relationship is worth it. 

Do you treat issues around infidelity?

Yes, I frequently work with issues of infidelity. Whether there are issues of trust, or if there have been physical or emotional affairs, it is never too late to seek therapy.

Do you see same sex couples?

Yes. I am comfortable seeing any couple regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Do you see couples who are divorced?

Yes. Often people who are divorced still need to communicate with each other. I can help make this easier.

Do you do premarital therapy?

Yes, I do. Often conflict can arise in relationships before marriage. Therapy is the best place to work on these issues before making the commitment to marriage.

Do you offer a relationship check-up?

Absolutely. Any time when you aren’t feeling good about your relationship is a great time to seek help.

Do you counsel couples who are separated?

Yes. Separation can be a difficult time when the future of a relationship hangs in the balance. It is best to do this with the guidance of a qualified couples therapist.

Are you a sex therapist? Do you provide sex therapy? Do you deal with issues around sex?

While I am not a certified sex therapist, I am an expert in intimacy. Issues about sex and sexuality are common, and I am comfortable working with you about them.

How much do you charge for marriage counseling and or couples therapy?

My charge for couples therapy is $150 per session. I accept Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois PPO, and I can bill any insurance company directly as an out of network provider.

How do I pay for marriage counseling or couples therapy?

I accept cash, personal checks or credit cards. I also accept insurance.

Do you take insurance for marriage counseling or couples therapy?

Yes, I am an in-network provider for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois PPO. I can bill other insurance companies directly as an out of network provider.

Do you have any locations outside of Evanston?

No, I only have a location in Evanston. My office is conveniently located to much of the Chicago area and is accessible by CTA and Metra. There is also ample public parking near my office.